Nov 292015

I posted this to my Facebook Notes section in December of 2008.  You know, back when Family Guy was relevant.

Note to Seth MacFarlane: If you use this bit and don’t properly credit me, I am going to post those compromising pictures of you and Don LaFontaine on the Internet, the ones I found in your gym bag the other week!

EXT. Griffin house.

First four bars of FAMILY GUY THEME.

INT. Living room, PETER and BRIAN sitting on the couch in front of the TV. BRIAN is reading the newspaper while PETER is watching TV.

And now, back to “Everybody Loves Raymond”

CUT to front of TV

You know something Ray? You’re a total douche bag. And what’s worse is you don’t even know it.

Thay may be Bob, but you know something? I make more money than you do. I always come out ahead of you unworthy supporting characters. No matter how much you beg and plead for raises I will always be able to buy and sell you ten times over. And what’s the name of the show Bob? Everybody *Loves* Raymond. It doesn’t matter if I;m a douche bag or not. Everyone loves me, unconditionally. I can do no wrong Bob. What’s your excuse? Hmmm?



>bleep< You Bob. >bleep< you.

CUT to Peter with shocked look on his face, BRIAN reading the newspaper.

You know Peter, I’ll never understand the appeal of that show.

I know Brian. It’s like having sex with Carmen Electra. I mean yeah, it’s sex with a really hot chick but in the end you really don’t feel anything. Like dipping a sausage link into the community pool. Cold and wet…and you end up leaving dirtier than when you jumped in.

CUT to MEG who runs down the stairs in a two piece bathing suit STOPPING in front of the TV.

Hey dad. What do you think of my new bathing suit?

BRIAN dashes to the bathroom followed by retching sounds. PETER purses his lips with eyes squinted as if to avoid a horrid sight.


PAUSE. STEWIE scampers into the living room.

I say, has anybody seen this morning’s edition of the Wall Street Journal. I want to make sure those investments Brian talked me into putting my allowance into have paid off…

STEWIE stops in his tracks upon the sight of Meg in a two piece bathing suit, a look of shock burned into his face.

What the deuce? What is this unholy abomination?

MEG smiles at STEWIE

You like my new bathing suit Stewie? I think I look really hot in it this year.

STEWIE begins to make gagging sounds and bolts for the bathroom

STEWIE (off screen)
Move over dog!!

STEWIE makes retching sounds, followed by another round from BRIAN. MEGs expression changes from a happy one to a disillusioned one. LOIS walks into the living room.

Peter! What is going on in here? I thought I heard someone throwing up…

LOIS turns to see Meg in her bathing suit and puts her hand to her mouth to hide what is obviously a laugh.

Ohhhhhh. I see. Meg, honey. I don’t think you’re quite ready to share your, ummm, assets with the world just yet.

LOIS snickers.

Mom! That isn’t right. You’re supposed to be supportive of me.

Meg, I’m always supportive of my children…even you. Now go upstairs and change back into your clothes before Chris sees you. I would really hate for him scarred and to turn to homosexuality after seeing something like this.



CHRIS walks into the living room.

Did somebody say my name? I thought I heard my name.

CHRIS turns to see Meg in her bathing suit. CHRIS freezes as his right eyes starts to twitch in spams.

Uggh, I was afraid something like this would happen.

Mom, I don’t feel so good all of a sudden.

CHRIS covers his mouth with both hands holding back gagging sounds. He runs for the bathroom of screen and retches follwed by whimpering sounds. STEWIE throws up again, followed by BRIAN. The three of them being whimpering and crying in unison. MEG runs upstairs crying.

CHRIS (off screen)
I don’t think I can masturbate ever again.

Geez, I havn’t been this bummed out since that time Howard Stern and I did barbituates together on his radio show.

INT. Howard Stern’s studio with PETER, HOWARD and ROBIN sitting around a table all slouched in chairs in front of microphones.

Man, I’m pretty bummed right now.

Me too Howard. Me too.


Yeah. Pretty bummed out.

Bummed out. Yeah. I mean…I’m really bummed out.

I know

Totally bummed out

Yeah. Complete bummer



Yeah, bummed out


Like, bummed out.

I know. I’m so bummed out right now.

Sep 302014


I forgot about this photo.

Call it my memory blocking it out after the tragic time we spent together in 2012, and the tragic way in which your life ended.  I wish I could have done more to help you.  I wish I could have saved you.


 Posted by at 8:23 pm
Sep 192014

All right, enough fucking around.

To the individual(s) who visits using extra-curricular means, if you have something to say, out and say it already!  I’ve already blocked the IP blocks from your place of employment, you know, space camp, and the hint doesn’t seem to be making its point.  So post your comment or email me for Christ’s sake.  You’ve read your spouses email enough times to know what it is, yeah?

And what’s up with that?  Paranoid, much?  Checking the phone records too?  Why stay married then, because once the trust goes, what’s left?

Oh, I know.  Child support for multiple children, major alimony, financial destitute.  Yeah, that might scare me like a three-year old girl in a haunted house too.

Rent free, bub.  Rent free.

 Posted by at 2:12 pm
Aug 062014

As a point of reference – and after looking it up – the name Ciaran is Scottish in origin.  It’s a Gaelic male given name meaning “little dark one” or “blacky”, produced by appending a diminutive suffix to ciar (“black”, “dark”).  Keep this in mind.

Now, I imagine this particular post/rant/thing will make very little sense to anyone causally reading it.  That’s okay.  Short of spelling out the entire back story behind it, and in the process naming names (which I don’t like to do when those names are innocent), there’s no point, really.  The person(s) this post are intended for know what it’s all about, and to protect certain individuals and entities, I’m left with my personal site in which to make my points.  So, unless you’re familiar with Little Dark One and the work I do in the field of PHP, feel free to skip this post.  Maybe you’ll find it amusing, I don’t know.  I aim to defend myself against some incorrect assertions and maybe knock a fellow down a few notches.  If that kind of thing turns you on, then by all means, keep reading.

First, a quick history lesson, for the uninformed.  I’m sure you’re familiar with a little island down under called Australia, mate!  Yes, The Outback, kangaroos, koala bears, boomerangs, and all that happiness.  But did you know between the 18th and 19th centuries large numbers of convicts were transported to the various Australian penal colonies by the British government?  One of the primary reasons for the British settlement of Australia was the establishment of a penal colony to alleviate pressure on their overburdened correctional facilities.  Over the 80 years more than 165,000 convicts were transported to Australia.  Fact.  No disputing it.  One might says that the current population of Australia are descendants of British criminals.  (Warning, xenophobic statements to follow.  If these offend you, then…well, who cares.  It’s my blog after all.)  After having dealt with one of two of these skippy poofters, it all makes perfect sense.  Well, to me, in any event.

The first I had the misfortune of crossing paths with on more than one occasion was a complete lunatic.  Bill was his name (or so he claimed) and was part of a program sponsored by a huge software company that deal in windows (so obvious).  He was what the rest of us referred to as a shill for that particular company, constantly spouting off their dogma and making sure the rest of us who disagreed were put in out place, sometimes to personal lengths.  Yes, Bill made it personal with more than one of us dissenters in the realm of RAD programming.  And when I say personal, I mean attacking our families, our children, our livelihoods, anything that twisted banana bender could get his hands on.  Complete criminal sociopath, yet a coward.  I called him out on his sickness, inviting him to mail me privately, call me, hell, meet me if he so chose.  But no, everything had to go on USENET for all to see.

But before you say, “Hey, Kev, that’s just one guy, right?  Hardly representative of an entire country,” I’ll tell you you’re right.  Yet dealing with developers from other countries is more or less a non-stress inducing experience.  That is to say, they are much more friendlier, even if language barriers sometimes get in the way.

But then Little Dark One got all up in my rack.  And you guessed it, he’s JAFA exhibiting the same self-entitled personality flaw seen in my former foe, Bill.  There’s no reasoning with these vindictive little pricks of misery.

It began a few days back from this writing.  I do work for an up and coming software team that writes software for a much larger entity.  Really awesome fellows to work with (probably because they’re American).  So, time to time we get support requests for our software, which is also not out of the ordinary.  Usually it’s mostly folks who haven’t got it all setup properly, but occasionally it’s people who don’t understand thing one about PHP and want to be hand-walked through everything.  Those kinds of ‘services’ are not free, and usually require a paid version of support.  Also not an unusual thing in the field.  Our Team Leader knew Little Dark One before I as Little Dark One had collaborated with him previously.  I can only surmise in the wake of Little Dark One’s inability to be loyal to anyone but himself, he expected the same relationship with me.  I don’t deny – and never have – my inability to deal with people who come off like they’ve read Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead and bought into it’s propaganda.  Actually, the truth is, I don’t get on with most people, because they’re downright stupid, barely conscious and let everyone else do their thinking for them.  I need to be impressed fairly quickly before letting my defenses down, even a little.  So when I deal with people who comes to us looking for answers to things that have either been addressed previously, or have been documented, I tend to get impatient after one post…sometimes not even then.

Another part of what I do – and do of my own accord – it watch the ‘competition’.  There is some in our particular field, but most of them are downright badly coded and just plain ugly to look at.  One one of my ‘competition watches’, I could help but notice hat Little Dark One, after having been handed unpublished ‘beta’ code for one of our premium features, was posting on a competitors forum.  Call me old fashioned, but when one works with us, also working for a direct competitor is simply disloyal, not to mention unethical.  We gave Little Dark One access to our resources that most others don’t have access to, and here I find him suggesting all of our features to this competitor.  Well, excuse the fuck out of me, good people, but I refuse to let some little cretin play both sides of the fence.  It’s one of those situations where ‘you’re either with us, or against us.’  In the niche market in which we offer our wares, such unspoken rules are quite necessary.  As Team Leader is a much better man than I, he gave Little Dark One the benefit of the doubt.  Me, I’m much more suspicious of people, because the ones who are not good at heart far outnumber the ones who are.  I believed Little Dark One had ‘jumped ship’, and the only reason he continued to use our software is because the competitor he was now consorting with – like the concubine he is – has a much inferior product.  It doesn’t come close to ours, not even a little.  They try, but have no follow through on, well, anything.

So, in my mind, Little Dark One is a fucking rat, plain and simple.  I suppose if Little Dark One had even an inkling of a brain, he might have used a different handle with our competitor, as not to be caught so quickly with hands in separate cookie jars.  So not cool.

Days later, Little Dark One posts something in our forum about making one features of our software work in a way it’s not (yet) designed to.  At first, I’m like, ‘the balls on this little prick!’  Putting aside the fact that the question falls under premium support as it’s not a bug with our software, he wants to be told how to make something work.  So now I know Little Dark One is another lousy PHP wannabe coder.  Great, my favourite kind (insert eyeroll).  I don’t know where his loyalties lie, so the brash personality I am called him out on it.  Is this for your benefit, or the benefit of the competitor whose ass he openly sucks on?  Oh, our dear Little Dark One didn’t much like that at all.  I no longer have the original reply, otherwise I’d post it, verbatim.  Basically, it amounted to, ‘mind your fucking business and service me, now!’  I ignored him.  He went running to Team Leader via Skype and whined the following like the little bitch he is.

Your message boy at the gates pisses me off every bloody time. I’ve donated to your project, I’ve contributed to your project where I can, only to be treated like a dickhead.

I laughed.  Dickhead.  Apt.  If the shoe fits, right?  I did notice the word ‘bloody’ which led me to believe he might be British.  So I checked.  Nope.  Just Another Fucking Aussie.  Old memories of Bill and his psychopath behaviour seeped back into my forethought.  I didn’t want to deal with another self-absorbed wanker from down under.  So I went back to the original post and deleted my sassy retort and his two replies, the second I didn’t bother reading.  Just let it go, then, per Team Leaders sage advice.  Team Leader and Little Dark One worked it out, about Little Dark One’s contributing to a competitive project.  He claimed to still be with us, but kept on posting on the competitor’s page.  I wasn’t sure how to make Team Leader understand that he was still playing both sides, and that he needed to pick one and be done with it all.  I was still convinced he was already on board with the competitor and that everything else out of his mouth was pure white noise.

Oh, how I hate being right, especially about topics I don’t want to be right about.

Little Dark One’s original request for free premium support went unaddressed for a few days.  I had zero interest in helping a rat, and Team Leader was busy with other more pressing (and important) engagements.  Little Dark One said,

Possibly my $100 donation to this project was not enough to warrant a little bit of support that I have asked for?

Arrogant little bastard, yeah?  This is what is known as guilt tripping, or emotional blackmail.  I did something for you, now you must do something for me.  First of all, I suppose I need to explain that our cool little project is open source.  It means anyone who has a handle on PHP and our project can contribute.  We don’t get paid for this.  We survive on donations, premium support payments, and premium extensions to our code.  And when I tell you that developer who use our code in five to six figure earning projects are fucking stingy as old jewish men, I kid you not.  It’s the nature of the beast, I guess.  I like writing code, so I do it anyway.  It’s not really about the money, although sometimes it can be.  Mostly, it’s about my belief in our project and it’s potential to be a brand name in our particular market.  But damned if I’m going to let some brat who think we should drop to our knees over a donation made a while ago give me the business.  I typically don’t get drawn into guilt-tripping or emotional blackmail, and I despise people who try for personal gain (well, on a professional level anyway).  So I replied,

Guilt tripping probably isn’t the best way to go. I’m not all that interested in dealing with something that isn’t a bug, and Team Leader has other issues going on, so I suspect he’ll be replying when he gets the chance.

Little Dark One wasted no time in telling us how to run our business.

The issue is Kevin, you aren’t interested at all, and has nothing to do with the fact that I have paid what I consider to be a good donation and not really asked for support in this way before. If you treat others the same way that ask for assistance when they have most likely donated as well, do you call them guilt trippers?

Since there seems to be no support forum where others can help. And actually when I do press support on the website it points me right back here where I then have to consider this a place of support, regardless of the fact that you think this is for bug tracking only.

If you are all we have for support on this product, then I am at a loss right from the start. if you feel this isn’t the place for support, then do us a favour and remove the menu button on the main website, or better still rename it to bug tracking only.

To be fair, I tried to be nice in not telling Little Dark One the entire truth.  His request did fall under premium support, but mostly he was right, I had no interest in helping him, at all.  I don’t help rats, I set a trap for them and kill them.  That said, most of what I read was silliness.  But I did reply (FYI, Team Leader’s personal life isn’t relevant to this monolog, so I’m not including it),

Ugh. Just…stop already. You really don’t know or understand of what you’re speaking. I deal mainly with bugs and fixes. You want support for something that is not a bug or a fix, and that’s Team Leader’s area. But as I JUST pointed out, he . Don’t you think that takes priority at present, yeah? If you believe different, by all means, Skype him and complain about that as well.

And the very quick reply came,

Ah you are just too good. what a classic. I forgot that I should have a crystal ball to know you are not a support type person, and you ONLY deal with bugs and issues. I do know . Thank you for at least starting to be clear on who is support on questions not relating to bugs.

All you had to say right in the beginning was that you only deal with bugs in the support side of this project rather than your stupid convoluted first answer of: “Sorry, if this for <competitor’s>benefit, or ours? Still not clear on all that.”

That was the fuel of all of this, and you only have yourself to blame where we are at now.

De-stress Kevin, and have a good weekend.

I’ve often found that those who react badly to accusations are usually guilty of something, whether partly or wholly.  For example, if a police officer pulls one over and asks if they have anything in the trunk, guns, drugs, dead bodies, etc, a guilty person would react suspiciously, usually with a ‘no’, but looking away, or shuffling his feet, or possibly becoming defensive.  An innocent person would probably laugh at the idea of a dead body in their trunk.  It’s all about reactive behaviour, and it’s a tell.  Little Dark One’s reactive behaviour was a huge tell.  Defensive to the end.  Why?  Because he’s guilty of being a rat, and he knew it.  As I speculated before, I believe he continued to use our software because the competitor’s is shit and doesn’t come to what ours does.  He may have possibly attempted to tread water until such time as he could officially jump.  He doesn’t understand that day won’t ever come.  And why make the jump to begin with, if our software is so much better, you may be asking.  It’s all about free stuff.  See, some of our premium offerings are features this particular competitor will be giving away for free.  If that’s how he wants to go about it, it’s certainly his right.  But what he doesn’t get is that our premium features are intricate in design and in code and that his weak offering will never measure up, short of him stealing our code, which I wouldn’t put past him.  Little Dark One might have possibly been passing premium code as well.  Competitor denies it, of course, but that’s what he’s supposed to do.  Lie.

I didn’t reply to Little Dark One.  Another dev on our team did,

With all due respect, Kevin is a volunteer. He is NOT a paid support technician and offers what support he can as his time (and job) permits. The same can be said for virtually every other person who occasionally provides support for our users. Kevin didn’t start anything. You did. You waited one day before accusing us of ‘not providing support’ and yet we have had seven issues closed within the last 24 hours… six of which were legitimate bugs in the existing system as opposed to users asking for new functionality.

Please remember that functionality (especially good functionality) takes time to develop. We have a VERY small staff made even smaller as a result of <Team Leader’s situation>.  As a result, yes… support as a whole may take a bit of extra time.

If you have a problem with waiting, you’re more than welcome to hire someone to add the functionality for you, submit a pull request that you wrote yourself (we love user contributions), or find another framework that does satisfy your immediate needs. But please don’t take your impatience out on our volunteers.

Thank you, and have a good weekend.

That about sums it up.  I am usually the first to identify and fix bugs that folks report, and am damned good about it.  However, I don’t like to go on about my volunteer status and how I don’t get paid a salary (sometimes a stipend, which I’m always grateful for).  For me to say such things makes it seems as if I might be the one guilt tripping, and I don’t want to convey that to anyone.  When someone else on our team says it on another’s behalf, it’s vindication.

Little Dark One followed with with a long post.  If it’s TL;DR for you, don’t worry about it.  It’s mostly Little Dark One bitching about me (some unrelated stuff is edited out),

Thank you for chiming in, however what you fail to read is what has been removed by admin which included the very first response to me calling out for support. And that was a really childish first response made by Kevin in which fueled this whole matter with frustration. if kevin is a volunteer and does not provide support other than issue and bug fixes, then he had no right to respond in the absurd way that he did.

What you have read so far looks like all I have done is complain about support. it creeps me out that Team Leader and Kevin seem to follow my trail and watch what I have communicated on or participated on in other discussions in other frameworks or points of interest. If all they are interested to do is point out what I communicate on other platforms, but fail to see that I advocate for others to use this platform, then there seems to be a waste of their time and effort.

If I didn’t believe in this project that has been kindly picked up right from the start where it was you finishing off from where left off, then you and Team Leader continuing to give us what we have today, then I would certainly not have donated in what I consider hard earned $$ on my part.

I have no issue waiting for a support response, but as I point out once more, Kevin ought to not step in to a support request when he himself has now advised he does not offer support other than bug fixing. but his stupid first response of “Sorry, if this for <competitor’s> benefit, or ours? Still not clear on all that.”

I have no connection to <competitor>other than participating in their openness of communication of ideas and suggestions on their <forum>. It seems to me that there is some type of weird politics going in the background here in <our project> that I care not to know or understand.

Impatience has been a result of Kevin deciding to pull in some out of agenda comment based on my communication on other . Sorry but this is has really gone out of whack in this thread that could have been avoided if the volunteers stayed out of this in the first place.

I wish you a great weekend too.

Here is the thing Little Dark One doesn’t understand.  We are all volunteers.  It’s our policy that bugs are addressed and fixed via our forum.  Any issue not a bug that demands attention falls under premium support.  Suggestions have their own venue as well.  Little Dark One singles me out for not dropping everything I was doing and telling him how to write PHP code that he cannot, and do it all based on a donation that I didn’t receive.  No, that’s not how it works.  But like my old JAFA pal Bill, it’s always about me, me, me, and fuck your policies.  I had every right to call Little Dark One out on his intentions, as they reeked of rat shit.  His defensive and offended demeanor told me everything I needed to know.  Why are Australian developers so bloody psychotic?  Oh, yeah, descendants of criminals.  Got it.  Like Bill, Little Dark One’s latching his aggression onto me reeked too much of Bill and the level at which Bill eventually sunk.  So I said,

Yeah, this obsession with me if a wee bit unnerving. Maybe it’s time to back off before I begin to become annoyed, yeah?

It truly takes an act of biblical proportion to annoy or aggravate me in any consequential way.  Most of the time I’m really laid back, with bouts of hyperactivity from time to time.  Sparring with the less intelligent is more of an amusement, since they’re so easily flustered.

Finally, Team Leader chimed in (only relevant portions reprinted),

Yes, Kevin thought you were going to another project, and we worried because of the <premium> code we just handed you. I thought your and my conversation had resolved that. We were simply attempting to protect our proprietary code. What I don’t understand is the retort.

Let me just say that we REALLY appreciate the $100 donation. That was great, thank you. It helped move the project forward. I am also sure that <our software> has saved you thousands of dollars in development time.

So you know, most donations go to support volunteers (the primary one being ). Kevin bills at a much higher rate than we can ever pay. He puts in thousands of dollars a month in effort, for very small in return. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

Also remember, I have given you plenty of support and even one of our extensions even though you didn’t complete the task we had agreed with for that trade. I bill at $150-200 an hour. I am sure the donation came at great cost on your part, but don’t assume it was enough to sustain any of us individually. We appreciate the donation. Please do not assume your donation gives you any form of entitlement beyond that which has been previously rendered to you. We’ll help as we are able.

So, the whole truth comes out now.  Little Dark One was given freebees by Team Leader for work he never did!  And this whole time he’s breaking my balls over a donation he made that somehow entitled him to permanent premium service?  I suppose he did forget to mention he received free premium code from us, but would have to also admit to not doing the works in exchange for said code.  Did I mention Australians were descendants of criminals?  Thievery is a criminal  act, is it not?

The thread was locked and Little Dark One went away, or so we thought.

Turns out, Little Dark One – in the days that followed – jumped ship, yet again, to yet another competitor whom we’ll call Competitor #2.  I suppose we might refer to him as another competitor.  The fact is, it’s another start up with no clout, or name in the marketplace.  Little Dark One then goes on to emailing some of our more loyal customers and occasional devs.  Portions of that email found it’s way to me, which is the reason for this rather lengthy post.  My comments are in red.

Hi there thanks for the email and touching base. You do know that is actually the mastermind behind , and the original source of is ?  got busy with personal life in the early days, then decided to fork and take over and continue the project. , then joined forces, then the project them was renamed . was then assisting development until they that  was not the right fit, then there was a falling out.  

Sorry Little Dark One, but you clearly don’t know shit about the history of our project, because mostly, it’s inaccurate as described.  Didn’t you say you weren’t interested in our internal politics?  Liar.  Also, that guy who you claim we had a falling out with?  Also not accurate.  He left on his own.  He wasn’t fired, or pushed out, or shunned.  He choose to leave for his own reasons.  So, if you’re going to attempt to parrot back situations you know nothing about, at least get your facts straight.  All you accomplished was making yourself look like a spurned crybaby.

is completely different than as the code is a complete fresh write. It still carries some of original code.

Not much.  You forgot to post the fact that this individual willing merged his old project with ours.  I think if you took the time to look at both code bases, our has evolved way beyond any and all old code bases.  We got better, we improved, and threw away a lot of old code that no longer functioned properly.

portion removed>

If you think that the <our project’s name> extensions are their own ideas and own code right from the start, then think again.

Example,  the <cool project> extension was originally published by <another dev> from <another devs project>, then shared that code to the <our project’s> team. I am not saying it is wrong, but just making you aware that not everything is original from <our project>.  <Team Leader> is a genius in that he will always look for a way to make things better.

That last paragraph?  That was a direct shot at me.  The ‘cool project’ extension I wrote (yes, I withheld it’s name, as to protect people involved) was not and was never a theft of code.  Quite the opposite.  See, Team Leader and I were spit-balling ideas for different extensions.  He sends me a screen grab of something another dev did and suggested I should do something similar (and better).  Team Leader knows and works with the dev who created the original concept.  So based on a screen shot, I created my extension that took the concept to the next level.  Now, I am not disparaging the original concept or it’s author.  I took an idea, improved on it, and turned it into something new.  Little Dark One suggests the dev willingly handed us his original code and I stole it.  Nope, sorry Little Dark One.  First, Little Dark One has never seen my code for that extension, so not only is he deliberately lying, he – per his JAFA style – is going on about things he knows nothing about.  He’s talking to hear himself talk.  Not only is my code all original, but the interfaces are completely different in appearance and functionality.  Little Dark One doesn’t understand this, as he’s probably not done his homework on the situation.  I’ll happy put up my code against whatever the other code base looks like and let a third unbiased party review both, anywhere, anytime.  they’ll tell you what I’m telling you now.

So, I’ll get right to the crux of it.  Little Dark One, why do you care?  Fine, I accept you kooky Aussie’s get all obsessive in your disdain for people you feel have slighted you, but seriously?  Get the fuck over it and move on already.  Usually, when it comes to unintelligent people like yourself, I stay indifferent until given a reason not to be.  You don’t want to test me, as you will fail.  If you want to go on emailing everyone you can think of about how evil our project is and how our support staff had to put you in your place for acting like a twelve year old, fine, great, have it all you like.  Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.  However, accusing me or any of my team mates of code theft – without actual hard proof – is a bold statement and a dangerous game to play.  And if you cannot back it up, you are the one who looks like the furious scorned woman from hell.  If that’s how you wish people to perceive you, then it’s your own circus and your own monkeys.

But now that you’ve officially jumped ship and become a full blown drama queen, do all of us a huge favour:  Fuck off, and stay fucked off.

Then there won’t be any more trouble.  Yeah?  :)

 Posted by at 6:25 pm
May 222014

So, NBC cancelled one of my favourite TV shows, Revolution.  I’m not surprised, really.  Season one was the kind of story that makes my blood pump and my imagination fly.  I was hooked from beginning to end.  Then Season 2 happened and I was like, “what the fuck is this?”

To show creator, Eric Kripke, I ask, “What the fuck were you thinking?”  Was it all your idea to go the route of “The Postman“, or did Abrams push you into it?  Or the network?  Please tell me it was not you who sold out and gave us the mess that was season two.  It had all the direction of a defective GPS unit.  Sorry, but it’s true.  I still watched, hoping for more ‘nano’ storyline and less man-love between Miles and Bass.  And poor Tracy Spiridakos had almost nothing to do with her character, Charlie Matheson.

Okay, so what’s done is done. The damage was not irreparable.  Plenty of shows have come back from misdirection.  Even Lost came back from the clusterfuck that was season 3 (but only to give us season 6, which made the previous five almost less than noteworthy).  That’s the problem with writers these days.  Short term thinking.  I’ve written an as un-yet published saga called Displacement, which has a huge mythology behind it, and a clear vision of how the story begins and ends.  It’s basically about a down on his luck guy who finds a quarter date stamped 2025 and goes on a journey to discover its origin.  What he finds however are the answers to every question he dared to ask, and more.  And those answers were not what he thought they would be.  Those who have read it, love it….and want more.  But alas, my time to write is short these days.

But that’s about to change.

I will not take another butt-fucking from network TV lightly this time.  Revolution will live on.  For those who witnessed the season 2 finale (or series finale, insert frowny-face), it was obvious what direction the show was headed.  Humans versus nanos.  The concept is intriguing, and had Revolution been given the chance for seasons 3 (and new writers who knew what they were doing brought in), there was real potential there for the show to come back from the dead.  So, knowing the show and what mythology they have given us, and the direction they intended to go, I think I have enough to write a third book for the story.  I’ve percolated some seriously wicked sci-fi drama cool ideas to make that storyline happen, minus the loopholes and plot holes given to us from seasons two.  I will go as far to say I can fix most of them without that dreaded Rick Berman/Brannon Braga “reset button” plot device that all Star Trek fans have come to despise.  (For those who do not know, Braga single-handedly ruined the Star Trek Next Generation franchise, and the 24 franchise, and Terra Nova…at least in my (and that of many others) opinion.)

If there is one thing I cannot abide – and something I always keep in mind when writing sci-fi drama – are convenient plot holes that explain away what’s happening.  This is why my story for Revolution:  Book 3 will – not to put too fine a point on it – kick ass.

Check back in the next few weeks.  I’ll post chapters as I write them.  Sure, they’ll not be polished.  That part comes when the primary writing is complete, but I’ll want feedback, for those who want to give it, or care.

Check back soon.

Mar 222014

Unwarranted Self Importance.  It’s a disease, I think.  And if it isn’t, it should be.  Maybe then Big Pharma could whip up a drug to deal with it.  One whose side effects could include probably death or permanent crippling.  We could call it ‘fuckitol’.

In keeping with my the string of good luck my life boasts, some overgrown douche bag has moved in across the street from me who suffers from a raging case of Unwarranted Self Importance, and needs a serious dose of Fuckitol.  He’s yet another wanna-be hispter (or dipsters as I call them) who believes the universe revolves around him, and of course his dogs.  That’s the real issue here.  I can deal with stupid, arrogant people by simply ignoring them as they are rarely worth my time.  It’s the fucking worthless lumps of shit and noise producing wastes of life called dogs that’s the problem.  Yeah, I’m not a dog lover.  So sue me.  I’m not one of these barely conscious sheep who drop to their knees and praise dogs as of they are some kind of deities.  I’m not so insecure that I need to have some non-sentient life form to dominate over.  I get why women act that way with their dogs, sort of.  It’s the only thing they have control over, since most can’t control men in their lives, when they have them, which is almost never.  But when men obsess over dogs, and need to have that kind of control?  Freud was have lots to say on that, I imagine.  Overcompensation, I’ll wager.  Little tiny dick, maybe?  Inability to control the little woman?  (And seriously, what do full on hottie women see if overbearing, aggressive men like that?  It’s a damned waste.)

Anyways, the particular case of Unwarranted Self Importance that recently moved into my neighborhood has made it quite clear that his noisy dogs take priority over the neighborhood peace.  He’s made it clear he doesn’t care that they wake others in the mornings.  Personally, I think they guy gets some kind of sexual thrill or satisfaction from the dog noise, and most likely the dogs themselves, which suggests some kind of mental illness for which Fuckitol may be the only cure.

You see, when pressed about the issue, Mr. Unwarranted Self Importance made it clear he ‘knows every cop in the county.’  Not entirely true.  I actually know one or two cops in the country who have personally assured me they do not know him.  We can now add ‘chronic liar’ to the list of faults Mr. Unwarranted Self Importance suffers from.  And while he was going on a TL;DR (or TL;DL in this case), he went out of his way to say that he thinks someone is trying to hack into his computer via his WiFi, which is ‘against the law.’  Oh, and he has ‘sensitive DoD data’ on there.  Ugh, really?  Where do these kooks come from?  If that were really true, he would not have said anything about it.  Why not just set the SSID to say ‘This is a DoD computer, please don’t hack me.’  LOL.  Dumbass.  The truth is, he and some other goofball fix windows and doors.  Again, the Unwarranted Self Importance kicks in.

I can only ponder about his obsession with the law, while completely ignoring it in the process, specifically Manatee County Animal Ordinance 12-10.  Are those filthy mongrels registered and tagged?  Doubt it.  Fenced it?  Nope.  On leashes?  Nope.  Make too much fucking noise?  You betcha.  Maybe leaving a copy of those laws in his rusted old mailbox might be in order.

It’s sad when these things happen.  I spent a lot of money to move to a nice place, away from other people and their noisy dogs, and within not even two years, once of them moves into my neighborhood and believes he is lord over all.  Uh, yeah, I think not.  I tried to be friendly to these people, acknowledging them as they drive by.  The Hot Little Wife was good enough to show some common courtesy, at least.  See, when I acknowledge people, *anyone*, it doesn’t matter who, and they disregard me, then fuck ’em.  Like the people I hold doors open for, who don’t say thank you, or even nod in acknowledgement.  Hell, I don’t know why I still do it since our society has degraded into an ‘every man for himself’ mentality.  So when Mr. Unwarranted Self Importance blew me off, I stopped giving a shit about him one way or the other.  But wait, here is where the plot thickens…he said the same thing about me, almost word for word.  Just like knowing every cop in the area, or announcing you have some kind of DoD computer (which by the way, should NOT be on WiFi, it should be hard lined to a firewall behind the router, so…busted.  See, I notice everything around me.  I almost never miss anything.  I think that’s how I’ve managed to get through my driving career without a single accident that I was responsible for.  The one where some dumb bitch blew a left on my green?  Yeah, that was her fault, and I had no time to slam on the brakes to avoid her.  Made a nice chunk of change off that one, I did.

So, no Mr. Unwarranted Self Importance, I don’t buy any of it.  I think you’re an angry, hostile, and probably psychotic individual, based on that very stiff stance while your hands were balled in anger.  I hope your Hot Little Wife and little girl aren’t on the receiving end of any of it, ever.  You don’t move into my neighborhood, strut around like your King Shit, force the noice of your smelly, ugly animals on the rest of us and say it’s MY problem.  No sir-e-o.

He doesn’t recognize that the problem is his.  Most psychotics (and sociopaths) do not.  They blame everyone else around them, justifying it however they can, usually with lies, as we’ve seen so far.  How many fights did Hot Little Wife lose because of it, I wonder.  How many women stay with men like that because they’re afraid, or because kids are involved?  I’ve witnessed behaviour between the two, from a distance.  He walks off, she tells him she loves him as he walks away, dismissing her with the wave of a hand.  So sad, and again, what a waste.  Sometimes I think Mr. Unwarranted Self Importance loves his dogs more than the other people in that house…and that folks, it sick.  Dogs don’t come before people.  Animals in general don’t.  We have the food chain for a reason.  It doesn’t mean I don’t love my pets, but given a choice between them and my family, there is no question, no pause.  I don’t see that happening down the street.

And so, my disdain for people who suffer from Unwarranted Self Importance continues to grow, at least until the day I can afford to move further into the country, away from everyone, and everything, where I can work and rest in peace and quiet.  Until then, Manatee Co. Animal Control will cringe every time I call them until the problem is resolved, or Mr. Unwarranted Self Importance goes broke from paying all those fines.